What It Feels Like To Be Called Old

Lost In The Algorithms: Daily Odyssey #11

“Daddy, what does it feel like to be old?” My daughter asked me. Ouch, that hit me like a ton of bricks. What I wanted to tell her was it’s like waking up to find your life’s screenplay was written by a team of drunk comedians.

But what I said was: “ Dad isn’t old, sweetheart. It’s more like I’ve got a brand new storybook to start. Every day is a new page, and guess what? We’re going to fill it with some amazing adventures together!”

I’m staring down the barrel of 40 and it’s an odd feeling. It’s supposed to come with wisdom, clarity, and maybe a cool sports car. Instead, I get front-row tickets to a self-sabotage fiesta featuring yours truly.

I wrote this nugget of wisdom inside my journal from Steven Pressfield: “When I sit down to write in the morning, I have no expectations… My only goal is to put in three or four hours with my fingers punching the keys.”

That’s my mantra now as I face off with my Macbook in the morning (yes, I’m that guy). The blank page glares back at me, a canvas of possibilities and failures. My fingers dance a daily ballet across the keys, sometimes more like a drunken stumble, but it’s movement.