The Biggest Lie That Limits Our Potential ( and how to stop it)
Twenty years ago, I thought I’d be retired from the United States Marines. I pictured myself as the Marine who traveled the world, deployed to combat zones, and acted like that badass you see in the movies. Instead, my years as a Marine consisted of death, addiction, and valuable life lessons that forced me to hang up my uniform after ten years of honorable service. When I left, I wasn’t headed to an exotic location, surrounded by fellow Marines. I was on my way back home — a place I knew I’d never survive.
If I am not him, then who is he?- G.Kalantzis
We all have stories written by outside forces in our lives. Our harsh inner critics depict how the story goes. Identities wrapped up in the pain of our fathers and mothers. Closed off hearts from broken stories of love. Camouflaged personalities are hidden behind high performance. However we walk through life, rarely do we try to become the author of our story.
It’s been a year since my severance phase of the vision fast. One of the most important lessons I have learned is the concept of surrender.
The biggest lie we can tell ourselves is that we must continue down paths that hurt our bodies, minds, souls, and hearts.
This is a new way of living for me, and I am still trying to let the lessons sit with my heart. After two decades of struggling with depression and suicidal ideations, the idea of slowing down makes me think I’ll never wake up again.
Depression is a story I have lived on for much of my life. But severance questioned my motives and values, showing me that there was more to this life than I originally planned.
Reflecting on who I am today, I now see that if I continue to attach my happiness and worth to external outcomes, parts of me will always feel dead inside. As I sit here and write these words, I see how my illusion of success has been like a puppet on strings of identities, being pushed and pulled around as my self-worth played the cost. And I have learned some hard lessons.
I’ve spent my entire life playing different acts in life while my actions, thoughts, and emotions were…