Ripples Of Fear — Thoughts 24 Hours Out From Bodybuilding Competition

Lost In The Algorithms — Odyssey # 64

One day out, the scale flashes 151.2 — a new low for this entire prep. Here I am, reflecting on the roller coaster of the past 24 weeks, weighing who I was against who I am now.

Back then, I was swimming in fear, the kind that gnaws at your gut.

A constant, gnarly dread of “what’s next?” and “what if?”

Though you wouldn’t see it on my face, inside, I was a mess — barely hanging on through the upheaval of a new career and the pounding stress that whispered, “Quit.”

But something clicked along the way…Once on different frequencies, my mind and body started humming the same tune.

The harder I pushed, the more the universe seemed to lean into the rhythm of my efforts. So, in a stroke of madness or maybe clarity, I signed up for a bodybuilding competition to mark my 40th birthday — because why the hell not challenge the odds? Why not believe in the invisible, the insane?

This morning, a Bruce Lee quote echoed through my head, “Don’t fear failure… not failure, but low aim, is the crime. In great attempts, it is glorious even to fail.”