As a Marine, I thought I had been through the shit and that when I separated from service life would be perfect. Little did I know how difficult marriage, fatherhood and a change of careers would actually be.
For the first time in ten years, I was going to wake up, have no one tell me where to be, what to wear, and how to do it. Despite everything I faced during my years of service, this was one of the scariest and toughest things I was ever going to do.
I did not know what to expect, so I rushed into everything because I was scared, alone, and uncertain. I had no path, no purpose, and for the first time in my life, I felt lost.
During this process, I lived in a word of validation. Constantly seeking approval from everyone and anyone. I was that guy that everyone came to for problems. From money, relationships and life. That made me feel good, well at least I thought.
In reality, I was coming from a place inside that was damaging who I was as a man. I was walking in other people shoes, expecting my life to get better. And it did, but I was still lost inside.
Shortly after I left the Marines, I met a girl who I soon spent a great deal of time with. When I went to Afghanistan as a contractor, she waited for me and we traveled the world together. It was amazing. During our long distance relationship, I learned a lot about love and deep connection, and I developed a new identity.
We soon became married and had a wonderful little girl together. While we had an amazing time, something inside me felt empty and I ended up losing sight of who I was as a man constantly seeking approval and validation when all she wanted was a deep connection.
A few short years later, I went through a divorce. ( More to come on that later)
My intention in writing these articles isn’t to put my definition of a man on you. It is to show you my mistakes, my growth and to challenge you as a man, father, brother, lover, and spouse. My hope is that it gives you a sense of purpose to find out who you truly are as a man.
If you are like anything like me, there is a good chance you are living a life full of lies. Today I am not coming to you as a coach, but a fellow brother that understands what it is like to feel lost inside.
Fathers Of War is a blueprint for life where veterans will learn about self-discovery, health, fitness, and connection. Not only will you become a better man, but you’ll also be an amazing role model for your kids, and discover what it’s like to live a world full of passion and purpose rather than emptiness.
The world needs better men, but more important better fathers. Its time to start kicking ass and becoming more than just a statistic.