Real love is no easy path- the readiness is everything. May we grieve loss without personalizing it. May we learn to love ourselves in the absence of the lover- Jeff Brown
If you have ever been through a divorce, you know the constant battle of shame, regret, sadness, anger, and frustration that make you doubt yourself as a human.
For months I would playback the highlight reels.
Our tears, laughter, and the birth of our daughter. I continued to reach into the past to make my feelings of hopelessness whiter away. After all, we were the perfect couple.
Ten years ago, I walked over…. wait, a girl walked over to me, and we soon traveled the world together. Today would have been our sixth wedding anniversary. A day where we probably would have had a fancy dinner and some ice-cream while we watched Harry Potter and laughed at the simple things in life. And while I’m still going to have some ice-cream and watch Harry Potter, I would have never imagined in my life that we would be here today.
We laughed, we cried, we fought, but more importantly, we loved hard. In the process, things broke, we…
At the height of my sobriety is my ability to express my truth authentically
Another empty bottle, a night I regret.
The smell of vodka pours from my sweat.
Trapped between the past and future, I
am walking on thin ice. One wrong
step, my life, the price. — GK
After a heavy night of drinking, these words above poured out on the empty pages of my journal. The cold fingers of addiction suffocated my truth and held me down for almost twenty years. Most of the time, I never thought twice about it because I was good at disguising…
Friday Flow 7/30/21 — Cultivating Presence and A Call to Rest
Take a moment to breathe, and endeavor to open to what was once closed off. The parts of you that might feel lost. All that was broken beneath your feet will once again stand. Breathe deep, do not be afraid. take my hand.
Most days, I sense a dark pull in the background of my life. It’s as if I have a shadow walking and breathing alongside me everywhere I go.
Over the years, I’ve developed an intimate relationship with this character beside me. …
Friday Flow 7/23/21- Start believing and you’ll start seeing
The last few weeks felt like an endless sea of storms — waves of limiting beliefs collided with thoughts of yesterday and tomorrow while drifting me far from the present. I’m not sure if it’s all of the rain we have had or just a series of past events stuck deep within my body, but I have come so far over the last few years, and know when my body feels like this, I need to detach and getaway to nature.
Most of the time, when I give myself some space…
Friday Flow 7/16/21- How Writing Offered Me A Life Raft
I used to write. Now I’m an author and storyteller.
Today is my 100th entry on Medium. What started as a therapeutic journey has become a place where others can recognize where they too, feel lost and separated from the parts within, calling to be heard and seen.
My Friday Flow is a place where I find my way back to my heart’s center. It’s where I crack open everything I am meant to be in those moments of doubt. It’s where my fears turn to curiosity. It’s where my…
Friday Flow 7/9/21
I’m sitting there cross-legged on the floor looking down at my tired hands and a heavy heart. Every breath, heartbeat, and moment is no more than a place in time. Nothing is what it seems. Nothing lasts forever.
I feel humbled in a way that makes all my fears and insecurities resurface. Life has been giving me the signs to breathe deep and open my heart. To release and be free.
Out there on the edges of the unknown are stretched-out hands waiting for me with a warm embrace. Yet, I cannot trust the unknown if I…
Friday Flow 7/2/21
These are the words I wrote in my journal after waking up later than usual and feeling heavy. So many things are shifting in my life. I am coming up on two years sober. My debut book is releasing in September, and I have been feeling a tug alongside my life for a few weeks.
I’ve become friendly with the imposter within. The more I listen to my heart, the more he sits by my side to tell me I am not all the things I want to be. …
Friday Flow 6/25- A place where I write freely
Sun crept in, and I opened my eyes
Darkness called to me; I wasn’t sure why
I took a deep breath, sat down to write
Surrendering to pain, words of freedom take flight.
This week I took off from training. After a hard sixteen weeks and running up Mount Washington on Sunday, I chose yoga and mobility work for my movement patterns.
Friday Flow 6/18/21
I felt a flash of heat enter my body. A rage up and down my spine as I clenched my fists to hold on to what I needed to let go of. Twenty-nine minutes into my breathwork session this morning, I let go, and tears rushed down my face.
I’ve been more consistent with breathwork over the last six weeks.
Today’s emotion was anger.
I’m not sure where it came from, but it hid deep, preventing me from opening up to the world even more. I’ve learned…